Maybe tis is the starting for me to being mature..

Childish..
This word already stay in my world long long time ago..
No matter where or when..
The people around me also feel that i'm so childish..
Maybe is because that i'm a type if person that always can't hide any of my feeling..
I always tell it out or spread all my feeling out..
When i'm not happy, i just will show the face to everyone then hope that people will care me more..
When i'm happy, i also will jump here and there and keep on let everyone know i'm happy.. When i'm angry, i will simply put my temper to anyone.. I'm the kind of person that don't know how to control..

But since last week, i think my attitude started to change..
Change to become a person that hide many things inside..
Try to become happy in front of everyone..
Try to make people happy..
Try to bring less trouble to people..
Try to be patient to something that i can't hang on last time..

Everything started to change..
But my life become more upset..
No more happy..
No more joyful..
Hide everything inside my heart..
Very complicated..
Very stress..

Every night started to cry..
Everyday have a pair of red eyes..
Now i notice that once a person become mature..
Happiness will gone..
Sadness will appear..

Now only i understand why people will say, children is the most joyful person..
When become adult will have many things to think..
Then happiness will gone..

I started to understand, not everything can tell people..
Not everyone will understand your situation..

thinking the back hug you gave^^

Tonight i just can't sleep well..
Keep on thinking about you..
Thinking about the 1st time we met after we start dating..

Still remember you said that you want to come to find me..I really very happy because after we accepted this relationship we haven't met with each other..
Don't know how the feeling it is when i meet you..
Whole night i'm thinking about it..

Then, finally i wait til the moment we are waiting for..

Still remember..
You want me to wait you outside..
Because you want to come find me 1st..

So, i wait in my car..

After 15minutes..
haha..
I saw a noob guy walking around and keep finding..
then go to the wrong direction..
again and again you walk here and there..
then you called me that you saw me..
but i just saw you go to the wrong direction..

but don't know why..
i just love to see your noob action.,

i didn't tell you where i am..
just let you keep finding..

finally..
you found me..

that time i really nervous..
so scare that both of us will keep silent..

luckily..
everything goes fluently..
hehe..

really a sweet memory for me^^
that day is the 1st time you hug me..
also the 1st time you kiss me..
until now..
i still remember it clearly..

when you hug me..
i really felt so surprise..
because normally you are so shy..
i can't imagine that you will hug me voluntarily..
i always thought that everything will i do it 1st..
because i'm the kind of person that is more initiative..
you hug me from the back..
is so warm..
so lovely..
i will never forget the feeling..

although we are in a long distance relationship..
but..
you are so understanding..
every time i lose my temper..
you will use your time to explain everything to me clearly..

although i make the mistake again and again..
you also explain to me patiently..

i always think that.. "ermm.. why the world still got this kind of person huh?"
you just make me feel like i'm not perfect enough to you..
because you are so perfect..

last time Sherene told me that when i found a right person..
everything will be different..
some time you feel that this thing is important..
but when you love the person..
everything will be not important..
just the person you love or care will become the most important..

now..
i know the feeling..
is really make me to be more mature..

i really want to thanks God that he bring me a good guy..
a guy that can make me change to be a better person..

Thanks God for the blessing^^

PiPi & Me

Tonight i had watched a good movie..
Marley & Me..
is so touching..
it makes me feel so touchy and is so real..
because in the movie it talks about dog and human can built a good.. erm.. not just good.. is a pretty good relationship with each other..
it let me think about my dog too..

my dog.. PiPi.. she already part of our family..
when i was standard 6, i bring it back..
that time i still remember that she still a puppy..
because of no time to bringing it home 1st.. so v decided to bring her go to open our stall in the night market..
we put it in the van.. scare that she will jump out from the van, so we close half of the window..
she so cute..
keep licking the car's window..
until whole window is full of her saliva..
then we bring her home..
at 1st.. she was so uncomfort in the whole new environment..
every night barking and barking..
make whole of my family cant sleep well..
she really been with us and experienced so much things with us..
i still remember one time..
she is having a skin problem..
her body.. paws.. started to perish..
then it also have lot of worms inside..
you know.. that time i'm still a kids.. dont know how to take care of a puppy..
then some more malaysian love to do one things..
that is when their pet has any problem..
they wont think to solve it..
the only way they think is throw the pet away..
my mom.. also think this way..
she decide to throw PiPi away..
throw it to the market near our house..
is so cruel..
i definitely disagree with that..
but.. i still a kid..
what else can i do accept then obey..
we take it to the market..
then my mom tell me to let her go..
i cry and cry and cry..
all people in market are looking ta us..
someone said, "so pity.. dont let ur daughter do that la!"
someone just said, "why have to cry so much for a little puppy!"
this is malaysian..
luckily.. i didnt let go my dog..
my mom dont have any choice..
just let me keep it..
we try to ask people for help on her skin problem..
finally.. RM10 settle everything..
an indian guy told me that a lotion is very good..
then it just sell me RM10 for that..
then.. i save my PiPi..
she really bring lot of fun to our family..
lot of fun..
she accompany us for around 11 years..
now she already very old..
she cant even stand straight to have her meal..
every night she just waiting us to feed her..
now she got lot of problem in her body..
health problem..
doctor said she was too old..
we cant do anything..
just let her have her entire time left..
she is so humanity..
recently i really scare that when i wake up in the morning..
i cant see her anymore...
so every night i find a time talk to her..
every night say goodbye with her..
i really scare i cant say it to her..
i really scare God will suddenly take her away from me silently..
now she really fall sick in a serious situation..
every night also will hear her moan..
my heart just like being cut by knife..
so pain..
so sad..
i pray for her..
i pray that God take her away with an easy way..
dont let her go away with painful..
i hope anyone that see my blog..
also pray for her..
if u did that..
i really appreciate it so much and thanks so much on it..

今天是一个很难忘的日子，也许对任何人来说是不重要的，但是对我来说，今天真的是很伤心很伤心！

本来今天是快乐的，是开心的。

为什么我就不能忍耐那一下下呢？
为什么我要说出口呢？ 我就不能忍耐一下吗？

我讨厌我自己。。

讨厌一切的发生。。

今晚我哭得很惨。。

哭得眼睛都肿了。。

我真的希望你能体谅。。

为什么我会这样说。。

但是，我发觉你始终不明白。。

心淡了。。
心碎了。。
心累了。。

但是，我能怎么办呢？